one life to live

Has spring already sprung in Minnesota??

2012-03-19T09:24:00.005-05:00

We have been wearing shorts and t-shirts almost every day for a week—during the second week of March! This simply does not happen in Minnesota!

Having the windows open and letting the fresh scent of spring waft through the house is incredibly refreshing after 4 months of winter. (Although, we had a pretty mild winter too—so no complaints here!)

Whether or not this spring-like weather is here to stay—there is certainly a good chance we could see more cold and snow within the next few weeks—I am simply happy to bask in it. :)

Shorts & t-shirts in March!

2012-03-14T18:57:00.004-05:00

This picture is from today... March 14. Notice the boys are wearing shorts and t-shirts? In Minnesota. Mid-march.

Today's high temp was in the low 70s—breaking the record high (which was 64 degrees in 2010)! My boys were more than happy to be outdoors enjoying the warm weather. And this warming trend looks like it's going to stick around for several more days—yahoo!

Veggies

2012-03-04T16:16:00.004-06:00

Do you know what these are?

Starting at the top left: a sweet potato (technically it's a yam), turnips, carrots, and parsnips. Did you guess correctly?

We are making strides to eat more vegetables at our house. My naturopath is recommending 5 servings per day. And that's not a combination of fruits and vegetables—that's five servings of just vegetables!

As you can imagine, the ol' green stand-bys (green beans and peas) got old pretty quickly. We do also enjoy Brussels sprouts, steamed broccoli, and asparagus. But that's not a lot of variety when you're eating vegetables so frequently! We also eat cauliflower and carrots, and add big handfuls of fresh spinach to our smoothies. But it's still not enough. (Five a day! Need variety!)

So, on I venture... into the wild frontier of vegetables unknown to man... er, I mean to me. :)

A few weeks ago, we tried roasted beets. Not too bad. A few days ago, we tried roasted root vegetables (see picture above—and note that I omitted the rutabaga from the recipe on this first attempt—ha!). This might take a little more getting used to.

Anybody out there have a delicious recipe for parsnips, turnips, and/or rutabaga?? Also, as if delicious isn't enough of a requirement, it needs to be gluten-free and dairy-free....

Paper Plate Masks

2012-03-04T15:53:00.007-06:00

I love that Brandon is at the age (6-1/2) when he asks, "Mom, can we do a craft today?"

Yesterday, Brandon wanted to make an animal mask. After doing a search on Google, I decided on paper plate masks. Brandon chose a lion and Ryan chose a zebra.

We used Crayola washable paint for Brandon's lion, which provided nice coverage. (The time it took for the paint to dry was a REAL test of his patience!) Since Ryan's zebra is white, the only additional color required was the black stripes—which I applied with a black Crayola marker... (I started out with a Sharpie, but quickly realized the fumes might overcome him!)

The masks are tied in back with a piece of yarn.

Not too shabby, eh? The boys LOVED them!

Hooray for a fun Saturday activity!

No condemnation

2012-02-27T15:06:00.005-06:00

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 8:1

I had broken God's laws. Again. I was condemned. And it hurt. Why couldn't I just figure out how to respond correctly in those situations? Why couldn't I just be perfect??

Here's the reality: I WAS condemned. But now... NOW there is no condemnation! God does not condemn me—so why am *I* condemning myself?!

When you are feeling condemnation—as I struggle with from time to time—it is often because you are trying to be right with God by your own works—and feeling guilty and disgusting because you can't measure up to His standard. Don't do it! Instead, we must rely on the One who died to make us holy once for all time! (Hebrews 10:10)

You are "in Christ Jesus" when you place your faith in Him—believing that when He died on the cross, He became the sacrifice for your sins—and that it is enough. There's no penance for you to pay, no groveling, no pleading, no promises of doing better next time. That's not what God wants! It's all about faith in Him—and a heart that's humble before Him.

You have been made right in God's sight by faith and you have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ my Lord has done for you! (Romans 5:1)

Presidents Day

2012-02-20T11:30:00.003-06:00

In honor of Presidents Day, here is a quote from Abraham Lincoln:

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

How prophetic and pertinent. Lord, help us.

Blue potatoes

2012-02-13T20:04:00.005-06:00

Ever seen blue potatoes?

This is a new discovery for me. I bought a bag of mixed-variety potatoes—yellows, reds, and... well... these sort of dark grayish ones... which were actually bluish-purple on the inside. This threw me off a little! How do you cook these, I wondered, and what do they taste like?

Even more interesting to me was the fact that, as they boiled, the water turned green!

At the supper table, my boys were a little put off by the color. But I'm here to tell you that they are as tasty as any other potato. And the color—isn't it fantastic? It makes your dinner plate pop! :)

The Yoke

2012-02-07T15:10:00.004-06:00

I was praying about mothering this morning. And I realized that, while I've read some very encouraging and inspiring accounts/experiences of godly mothers, I have also unintentionally taken that information and laid upon myself standards & expectations for what I should look like as a mother.... weighing me down with burdens I am not meant to carry.

Jesus did not say, "Take Susanna Wesley's yoke upon you..." He said, "Take MY yoke upon you. Let ME teach you..." (Matthew 11: 29-30)

Jesus, Jesus! How gentle and loving You are! Thank you that Your yoke fits perfectly...

Strawberry syrup

2012-01-03T12:16:00.004-06:00

In these wintery months when fresh produce is scarce in Minnesota, and often less flavorful, we turn to frozen fruit. During Christmas break, I discovered a delicious strawberry topping for pancakes! Here's all you need:

2 cups sliced strawberries, fresh or frozen
1/3 cup real maple syrup
1 tsp. vanilla

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until sauce thickens (about 5 min). Mash strawberries with a spoon.

Voila! Served hot over pancakes or waffles -- soooo yummy! -- and good for you! (No corn syrup or refined sugar!)

Enjoy! :)

What Christmas is really about

2011-12-23T13:07:00.002-06:00

I heard this lyric on the radio this morning...

He made a way in a manger
To make a way to the cross

[by Lee Black and Steve Merkel]

Isn't that good? I have been thinking a lot about the REAL meaning of Christmas over the last couple of weeks. And I've been struck by how much Christmas music out there is not about Jesus.

Christmas—root word: CHRIST.

My boys love music and have been listening to the Cedarmont Kids singing the old Christmas hymns—and the words of "Good Christian Men Rejoice" stood out to me...

Good Christian men, rejoice—with heart and soul and voice! Now ye need not fear the grave; Jesus Christ was born to save!

THAT'S why we celebrate Christmas! Yes, God came to earth in human form—Immanuel, God with us—and that is wonderful in and of itself. But the whole reason Jesus came was to save us from the penalty of sin (eternal separation from God)! His death on the cross—the shedding of His blood as the sacrificial lamb—atoned for our sin once for all time! Now we, who believe, stand before God clean and without blame.

What greater gift is there than that?!!!

Necessity is the mother of invention

2011-11-25T14:07:00.008-06:00

We live in a little ol' rambler, constructed in the 1950s. We are very thankful to have three bedrooms on the main level of our home! However, we don't have the luxury of a "mud room" like some of the newer houses have. Oft we have daydreamed of how nice it would be to not have such cramped quarters at our backdoor, which opens up right into the kitchen. But, alas, it would cost buku bucks to add on a mud room.

The winter months pose the biggest challenge—particularly as the boys come in from playing outside in the snow. I mean, who wants to walk through puddles of melted snow? (One of my pet peeves is wet socks.)

So we got creative. Idea #1 – when you are done playing in the snow, you must enter the house via the front door, which has a larger entry space. We had a light-bulb moment a few days ago and added some big rubber-backed rugs for even more convenience and less mess!

And idea #2 – My ingenious husband used his excellent skills to add two racks to the outer side of our coat closet door, at the perfect height for wet and/or drippy snow pants!

Since my husband also installed a large bookshelf in the living room above the couch (see below) during vacation time in September, we joked that no one would want to buy our house if we ever wanted to move, because it's so customized to our needs!

I'm thankful for my husband's craftiness! :)

What is a "good day"?

2011-11-13T20:16:00.006-06:00

I have a habit of labeling each day as either a good day or a bad day. A good day is a day where I am patient with my children, we enjoy each other's company, and I feel like I didn't make too many mistakes. A bad day is a day when I felt impatient & irritable and yelled at them.

But something's "off" with that school of thought. The day is good only if *I* act good, and the day is bad when *I* act poorly. It's all contingent on my behavior! This seems to reinforce my trouble with receiving God's grace. How could I receive His grace if I had a bad day (because I am bad)? This actually contradicts God's grace, because His grace cannot be earned with good behavior—it is a gift! [See Ephesians 2:8-9]

Lately, God has been showing me A LOT about His goodness, His grace, and His great love! I have been clinging to these verses from Colossians 1, verses 22-23...

Yet now He has reconciled you to Himself through the death of Christ in His physical body. As a result, He has brought you into His own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault. But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it.

That is an awesome truth! God is not repelled by my sin—in fact, He doesn't see me that way! Because Jesus Christ took my sin on Himself and paid the penalty for my mistakes & disobedience by dying on the cross, I stand before God holy and blameless, without a single fault! This is extremely difficult to understand from a human perspective—but it is GOD'S TRUTH! It is HIS WAY! And I am really taking it in... letting Him assure me of His love for me... and I feel freer than I have in a very, very long time!

On grace...

2011-10-16T15:01:00.002-05:00

"You cannot sin as much as God can forgive... We only sin as a man, but God can forgive as a God."
~ Charles Spurgeon

Never say you have done too much bad stuff for God to forgive. It is arrogant to think you are that unclean that God cannot forgive you—that makes God very small and weak. No, God is powerful enough to forgive anyone of anything—many times over!

Ephesians 3:12 says that because of Christ we can come fearlessly in to God's presence, assured of His glad welcome! It's not because of anything we have done to deserve it—it's because of Jesus taking our sin upon Himself and dying on the cross to pay our penalty! Thank you, Jesus!

Coconut Milk Pancakes

2011-09-29T21:31:00.004-05:00

Oh baby! I'm starting to think this gluten-free stuff is more of a blessing than a curse! Today we made coconut milk pancakes with coconut flour, coconut oil, coconut milk, eggs, salt, sugar (sucanat), and baking powder. They were delicious! Got the recipe from that Cooking With Coconut Flour book. Thank you, Jesus! :)

Gluten-free

2011-09-27T15:35:00.003-05:00

My role as head chef at our house has forever changed. Last week my husband found out he needs to be gluten-free. And dairy-free. Can you believe that?

So it's thrown a bit of a monkey wrench into my meal planning. For example, having tacos—it means no cheese or flour tortillas for hubby, and gluten-free chili powder in my taco seasoning.

We have already begun to substitute coconut oil for butter in certain recipes—and I will say it is luxuriously delicious!

Another little ray of sunshine...a friend loaned me a book called "Cooking With Coconut Flour" by Bruce Fife. It appears that coconut flour is not only a viable substitute for wheat flour, but it is very nutritious as well! The book also contains recipes for quick breads, muffins, cookies, cakes, and even some savory dishes like meatballs. Yahoo! I am very encouraged! I ordered some coconut flour (through Vitacost) so I wait with bated breath for it to arrive on my doorstep later this week...

What's wrong with driving a mini-van?

2011-08-23T14:46:00.003-05:00

The other day my boys were listening to a Go Fish CD called Party Like a Preschooler. It's actually a really fun CD—for the whole family (read: it doesn't drive Mom and Dad crazy the first half-dozen times you listen to it). The last song—referred to as a "bonus Dad track"—is called "it's hard to be cool [in a mini-van]" and the lyrics go like this:

Sittin' at a red light, down around Sunset
A girl pulled up beside me in a candy-apple red Corvette
She pulled down her shades, gave me a wink
I gave her a little smile back
Then she laughed as she hit the gas
And I remembered where I was at
'Cause it's hard to be cool when you're behind the wheel
Of an eight passenger automobile...

So, I got to thinking about that. First of all, what if the guy hadn't been in a mini-van? How far is he going to take this flirty little episode? (I would not be amused if my husband were smiling and trying to be cool in front of pretty young women in red corvettes!)

Secondly, why does the world look down so much on mini-vans and the proverbial "soccer mom?" (I used to be one of those people—I swore I would never drive a van.) But listen, the reality is, I am a mom! I have children and I do drive a van! Why would I try to pretend that this is not the case? Is it less prestigious or satisfying to drive a van full of kids than to go zipping down the road in a Corvette? Is that not cool?

So my conclusion is this: I'm not living my life so others might consider me cool. I am living to be the best wife and mother I can be, through the help of Jesus, my Lord!

I know, I know... it's just a song... but it just got me thinking...

Tired of trying to measure up?

2011-08-21T08:19:00.005-05:00

Do you struggle with legalism? Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, you just never measure up to God's standard? (I have.)

Then you've GOT to read this book!!

When you feel that way, you are living under the law, not under grace!

In Classic Christianity, Bob George explains salvation and living the Christian life in a way that made the truth clearer to me than ever before. (For example, if the focus of Christianity was simply "towing the mark," then Jesus would have totally approved of the Pharisees instead of rebuking them!) Now I get what the Bible means by, "If the Son sets you free, you are truly free." (John 8:36)

Read this book and let the truth of the Gospel—God's love and grace—wash over your heart & soul and change you forever!

Self-control with the computer—it CAN be done!

2011-08-02T15:07:00.006-05:00

Confessions of a stay-at-home mom:

I recently put myself on a "computer fast." Yes, a fast. As in no computer. For 3 weeks.

You see, the computer is both my friend and my enemy. It's a great way to keep up with friends and family—as well as research various books, homeschool curriculums, and bargains on clothing for my family. However, I have struggled greatly with the computer absorbing my time, energy, and interest at the neglect of my calling (my calling as a wife/mother).

I have tried numerous times to put boundaries around my computer usage with little success (if any)—even going so far as to make a formal commitment to the Lord... which, sadly, I broke. :(

This time is different. I knew I had to take drastic measures. Lest you think I developed some fantastic self-control, I confess I had to have my husband remove the mouse to prevent me from using the computer. My biggest stumbling block is thinking, "Oh, if I could just check out just this one thing..." and then getting distracted by a multitude of other things. So I will make a list of those "just things one thing"s... and check into them in three weeks.

I chronicled my journey on little sheets of paper and typed it here today—mostly in case someone struggles with the computer as I do, that they would be encouraged that victory can be won!

DAY 1
I frequently walk past the computer and glance at the screen to see if it's on. Nope. Computer fast. Keep walking. In the evening after the kids are in bed, Jon jumps in the shower and I grab my Bible & journal and head out to the patio for some peace-filled time with God. It's been eons since I've had more than 1 quiet time between sunrise and sunset—feels good to wrap up the day with the Lord this way.

DAY 3
I just got home from errand-running and my first thought is I should check email. Then it hits me: computer fast. And I'm OK with it. Actually, I'm more than OK with it. I feel like I am physically AND mentally present in my home, and it feels right. I'm even finding "extra" time on my hands for cleaning and organizing!

DAY 5
Just finished Brandon's homeschool lesson, but realize I can't record it—spreadsheet is on the computer. So I resort to doing it the old fashioned way, with a pencil and paper! Oooh... how novel! I'll transfer it into the spreadsheet when this fast is over.

DAY 6
My almost-6-year-old son finds me and says, "Mom, the mouse is gone." Uhh, what? Oh yeah, the computer mouse. In simple terms I describe to him my hiatus from the computer. His frown and furrowed brow show his displeasure at how this situation affects his own computer status. With a reluctant "OK..." he leaves the room to go turn off the computer... then goes outside to ride his bike instead!

DAY 7
I had a fantastic time outside this afternoon... the boys were having "room time" after lunch, so I grabbed my books, journal, etc. and headed out to the patio... gorgeous day, hot but not too humid, and me sitting under the shady canopy of our maple tree admiring God's creation... the bluest sky with occasional billows of clouds drifting by, birds singing, the deep green of the trees... so peaceful... and my eyes fill with tears as I think, "This must be what heaven is like!" (And I would have missed this moment if I'd had access to the computer!)

DAY 9
Today would have been a good day to have computer access. Two small segments of sidewalk chalk (apparently hidden in my son's pocket) made it into the washer... and the dryer... leaving behind a light blue tint on the ceramic walls of the dryer. The heat must have sort of "sealed in" the color. I tried soap & water, alcohol, Goo-Gone, and a Magic Eraser. No luck. Would've been nice to consult Dear Heloise or Crayola customer service... but I'll survive.

DAY 13
A precious friend who lives on the west coast had twins prematurely about a month ago, and I have been wondering how things are going—so I request brief access to my email, just for an update from her. To my surprise there were 127 new emails in my inbox! I was able to quickly sort through and delete about 85 of them on the spot. (No email from my friend, though. Bummer.) I did open one email from the public library system—a book I had requested was being held—until today—but of course the library closed two hours ago. Rats. :(

DAY 15
So far I have absolutely no regrets about this decision—and no longings to [ever] be connected to the rest of the world on the web! I feel like I have never been a more devoted mother than I am now—I'm not distracted, I think more clearly, I can focus and finish tasks more easily, and spend time with the boys and enjoy it! We've been reading together more, playing & tickling more, homeschool has been going great, etc. I am 100% HERE, at home. It feels right—like this is how it should be... like I am closer to the woman/mother I am called to be. My conscience is clean, and I feel good!

DAY 18
I read an article in "Family Circle" magazine about how technology affects the family. (I didn't even know it was in the magazine when I purchased it for leisure reading while the boys played at the park!) Very insightful about how family members can easily get tuned in to all their gadgets, connecting to everyone else on the planet except the people in their own house!

DAY 21
I'm finally checking my email. It is taking me quiet awhile to sort through my inbox, although the majority of the new mail is notices from advertisers or organizations. I took some time to remove my name from several lists. Was on the computer for over an hour tonight, but all productive time—paying bills and looking things up that were my my "list"—I did what I came to do and then turned the computer off. Feels great!

This has been a good experiment. I have loved getting that monkey off my back! So I've made a resolution: going forward, I will check email only once per week. Anyone who knows me knows they can reach me on the phone if it's urgent. I just know I need to do this—in this season of my life—to honor God, and to benefit my husband and children (and myself!).

Hebrews 12:1-2
...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus...

The value of art

2011-07-29T18:52:00.003-05:00

My son Brandon—who is now 6(!)—has realized the value of art. Meaning that you can make cool stuff with with a little artistic ability and creativity!

Last fall, he couldn't have cared less about crafts. But more recently, it's like he can't get enough! Here's our latest project:

Paper bag puppets! We had a blast creating them and then making up puppet shows! With art/crafts you can make glasses, cell phones, appliances, and much much more. Ah, the satisfaction of making it yourself. What could be better? :)

Funny quip

2011-06-21T10:20:00.006-05:00

Yesterday we had a playdate. The boys were watching a movie when Brandon got up and announced, "Both my legs fell asleep!"

So, today we were having a training session when I asked Brandon, "What should you do when Momma asks you to do something?" (The answer is to say ok, Mom and then obey.) His reply, the standard "I don’t know." We've been over and over this. So I begin again, "Brandon, this is a simple question..." when he interjects, "But my head fell asleep!"

My Dad

2011-06-18T08:24:00.004-05:00

Happy Father's Day (tomorrow), Daddy! Thank you for all the good, moral, sensible, and fun things you've taught me through the years.

I love you!

Soccer boy

2011-06-16T14:59:00.006-05:00

Brandon has been attending High Power soccer camp this week! It's sort of like VBS (vacation bible school) in that it meets 9am-12noon for a week, except that it's a soccer theme coupled with the Good News... hence the "High Power." :)

It's been a challenge for Brandon, but a great experience in perseverence and bravery as his introverted personality has had to face a crowd of new [albeit friendly!] faces. He did cry one morning, but the rest of the days he "bucked up" and did it without turning back! I'm very proud of him!

Just look at him go! *sigh* My little boy is growing up!

Cool dudes

2011-06-16T14:55:00.004-05:00

New shades for the boys...

Funny and cute!

Becoming royalty

2011-06-08T15:29:00.003-05:00

This past weekend I scribbled this profound thought on my bulletin from Pastor Brent's message:

Think about Catherine Middleton. What did she do to become royalty? She married Prince William, and voila!—she is a member of the royal family. In just the same way, when you accepted Christ you were brought right into the Family—you became royalty, God's heir, His child!

I take great comfort in that! I wasn't born of royal blood, and I have performed no great deed other than placing my faith in Jesus, but now I am royalty! Beloved child of THE King of Kings!

Sowing and Reaping

2011-05-25T13:01:00.006-05:00

I have a love/hate relationship with the computer.

The computer is not inherently bad. It is a wonderful tool for keeping in touch with friends and family! BUT, it very often distracts from relationships at home—spouse and children—the most important ones. After the kids go to bed, I confess we often fall into the bad habit of heading for the computer instead of spending time together... which really isn't much different than the channel surfing we tend to look down upon. Doesn't do much for relationship-building, I can tell you that!

This is where I see the "sowing and reaping" principle, as written in Galatians 6:7—for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap (NASB). Therefore, as it pertains to a person's marriage or children, my conclusion is this: if you sow sparingly, you will reap sparingly. If you sow generously, you will reap generously.

My exhortation (to myself and anyone else who's listening): INVEST! Invest in your marriage relationship! Spend time together! Think good thoughts of one another! Do kind things for each other! And invest your life into your children... your interest, your time, your heart! I can't think of anything more worthy of investing ourselves in than relationships—the soul is the only thing that lasts for all eternity!

How will this affect their souls?

2011-05-13T12:42:00.004-05:00

I am currently reading a sermon by J.C. Ryle called The Duties of Parents. It is soooo good! This morning I read this convicting, life-directing thought on child training:

Nothing should concern you as greatly as [your children's] eternal destiny. ... In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, "How will this affect their souls?"

I immediately thought about what I let my kids watch on TV. It's just PBS — perfectly harmless, right? Well... I'm not so sure. For one thing, there is a fair amount of whining and complaining they've already picked up from those programs (much to my chagrin). But also, by letting them watch too much, am I nurturing in them a lust for entertainment? It's a strong possibility.

In addition to entertainment, I also wanted to bring into consideration their schooling, friends, outside activities, and media exposure. How will these things affect their souls?

What other things come to mind when you consider the question, "How will this affect their souls?" I would love to hear what things God puts on your heart!

"And the pizza guy..."

2011-04-30T16:46:00.006-05:00

My boys and I like listening to good music. There is an awesome series of CDs called "Seeds Family Worship" that features songs set to Scripture. Our favorite is Seeds of Courage.

Yesterday on the way home from preschool we were listening to "Do Not Be Anxious" (based on Philippians 4:6-7), a very catchy tune. The verse goes like this...

Do not be anxious
About anything
But in everything
By prayer and petition
With thanksgiving
Present your requests to God

Then the chorus began, and this is what I heard my 5-year-old son singing from the back seat:

"And the pizza guy..."

I burst out laughing! He wasn't sure what was so funny, but he started laughing too.

The actual words are, of course, "And the peace of God..." :)

You are made holy

2011-04-23T08:00:00.004-05:00

For God's will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time.
Hebrews 10:10, NLT

Note that God's will is for us to be made holy. "Me, holy?" you say. "How?" By our righteous deeds? No! Only by the sacrifice of Jesus' body on the cross. We cannot nor will not ever be able to earn it. Jesus did it for us, and our part is to BELIEVE it and RECEIVE it!

Happy Easter!

My emerging reader :)

2011-04-22T18:40:00.005-05:00

My Brandon is learning to read!! He is pretty excited about it, thanks in part to a series of books I came across called Bob Books.

There are 12 booklets in the first series, and each story contains short vowels and three-letter words in simple sentences. The first story has only 4 letters (m, a, t, and s) so children can read the whole book themselves! New sounds are added gradually, until they've read books with all letters of the alphabet (except Q).

I could tell Brandon's sense of satisfaction was high, as he read the first three booklets in one sitting! It was fun to observe his progress within those few minutes, how sounding out the words began to click for him.

I'm a proud momma!

Riding the red bike

2011-04-06T19:59:00.005-05:00

Today my oldest son, Brandon, rode a real bike for the first time!

He's been sort of practicing on a "balance bike" (a 12" bike with no pedals), so he didn't even need training wheels. He did great! At first Dad helped him get moving, but he got the hang of it quickly, and soon Dad was having to run to catch up!

I am so proud of him... I'm actually kind of speechless. :) Maybe I'm just a little shocked at the way he's growing up before my very eyes...

Spring is on its way!

2011-03-14T18:15:00.004-05:00

I've been hemming and hawing for several weeks, debating as to whether I should spend money on rain boots for the boys. Would it be worth it?

Finally I was swayed today, as we had a lovely 40-degree almost-spring day... complete with lots and lots of puddles! (And in Minneapolis, there is A LOT of snow yet to melt!) The boys had a blast splashing around as we went for a short walk this afternoon, and it was so wonderful to be out in the fresh air!

The verdict: worth it. ☺

Diligence contributes to a "fat soul"

2011-03-06T21:42:00.004-06:00

This little blurb is written by one of our pastors, Brent Knox—an excerpt from “In Case of 'Work Avoidance Syndrome'...” which I found to be insightful when applied to mothering...

Think about this Proverb, “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat” (Proverbs 13:4, NAS). Do you notice the difference between the soul of the sluggard and the soul of the diligent? Do you want a soul that is fat? Do you want a rich, inward life? Being diligent contributes to a rich, inward life. Working hard is a blessing, not a curse. Besides, God worked and is still working. He worked for six days creating the world. And Jesus said, “My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I, too, am working” (John 5:17, NIV). So, it is godly to work...

I confess, sometimes I want life to be all about my needs, my desires, my convenience... but this reminds me that working hard and being diligent in my roles as a mother and a wife “contributes to a rich inward life.” I want to have a “fat soul!” PLUS, Jesus said, “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for Me, you will find it” (Matthew 10:39, NLT).

Clarifying your vision

2011-03-01T08:12:00.005-06:00

"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be! Remind me that my days are numbered—how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to You; at best, each of us is but a breath."
~Psalm 39:4-5 (NLT)

The truth is, no matter how long we live, our lives are short. So I asked myself this morning, "If I only had six months to live, what would I do? How might I live differently? What things that currently absorb my attention wouldn't matter quite so much in the scheme of things?"

Well, I'm pretty sure I would be a lot more intentional. I started making a list of things I would do if I only had six months to live, and I came up with 10 things (so far). I thought I'd share a couple of them:

* Watch little or no TV—too many more important things to do...

* Invest more of myself in my kids—more time and love, and especially my faith in Jesus.

* More quality time with my husband and my folks/in-laws.

* Feel no obligation to attend parties or gatherings—only where the Lord is leading.

Et cetera! And you know what? This list clarified my vision for how I want to live. Try this little exercise for yourself! How would you live if you knew you only had six months left?

Fashion NONsense

2011-02-28T18:13:00.004-06:00

I don't normally do this kind of thing, but I received a catalog in the mail today (I don't know how I got on their mailing list) and I couldn't help myself. They were featuring their new line of lightweight wool business clothing... including a picture similar to this one:

The reason for this little bee in my bonnet? They paired a wool suit coat with a jersey hoodie. (And can I just say how much I dislike the word hoodie?) This seems like a really strange combo, as it looks like she just got done at the gym and simply threw her blazer on over her workout clothes and headed in to work. Just seems like a fashion faux pas to me.... granted, I'm not exactly a fashionista... what do I know.... I'm just sayin'...

More like Christ

2011-02-23T11:12:00.003-06:00

This morning I was kind of yelling at my boys. I'm not proud of this. Let me explain the situation.

I get up early (like 5:45) to have time with God before everyone else gets up. However, my boys are early risers, and they have started waking up earlier for some reason! Sigh. So the rule is that they need to stay in their rooms until 7:00.

So while *I* was trying to have a QT and *they* were supposed to be in their rooms, they keep coming out... Brandon (our 5-year-old) has many "important" things to tell me, like, "Mom, I got my socks on" and "Mom, I finished those almonds" ...while Ryan (our 3-year-old) just keeps coming out and running down the hall. And my QT is getting interrupted.... repeatedly. So I was frustrated. Not freaking out, but irritated and speaking in a less-than-kind voice with them. (Actually, I did yell once, "Get back in your room, Ryan!" when I heard his door open... trying to manage them without coming out of my room. Not real effective.)

After I got them settled back in their rooms AGAIN, I sat down and thought, "Oh Lord, You really are bringing this muck—these impurities I wasn't even aware of before having kids—to the surface in me so you can refine me, aren't You?" And instead of feeling like a loser, I felt God's grace and love, knowing His plan is for me to be more like Christ.

Snow day

2011-02-21T12:34:00.010-06:00

Minnesota got hit with another big snowstorm yesterday... the weatherman said we got 15" in our suburb! Here are two cool pictures of a drift that formed over the roof of our garage...

So what's a family with two young, active boys to do when snowed in? How 'bout something creative! Like this...

And this...

Are you noticing a common theme? Most crafting in our house revolves around such boyish ideas. :)

One wonderful thing this weather affords us is natural opportunities to bond and have fun together. Hurray! :)

Life is kind of like a cake...

2011-02-20T19:54:00.005-06:00

This concept is from Deborah Wuehler, senior editor of The Old Schoolhouse magazine...

...that life is kind of like a cake. The individual ingredients might not taste good by themselves (think flour, baking soda, etc.), but God knows what our life needs and has a recipe that's going to make a masterpiece for His glory.

Love it! Sometimes there are things in our lives that are like, yucko! They don't taste very good in and of themselves. But we need to always remember that our loving God has a "recipe" for mixing all the ingredients of our lives together "for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes." (Romans 8:28)

No matter what your mood... pray.

2011-02-06T11:06:00.003-06:00

This paragraph from 31 Days of Praise was SO convicting to me! I should pray no matter how I feel—and perhaps especially when I'm not feeling like it!!

>>We get in trouble when we depend on our feelings in prayer. We start thinking we have to be in a praying mood to pray. Or we call our petitions "good prayers" if they give us a certain feeling. It's much better to just decide to pray, as God commands—regardless of how we feel. Charles Spurgeon wrote, "We should pray when we are in a praying mood, for it would be sinful to neglect so fair an opportunity. We should pray when we are not in a praying mood, because it would be dangerous to remain in so unhealthy a condition."<<

Myers, Ruth. 31 Days of Praise, p.193

Got prayer?

2011-02-03T15:28:00.005-06:00

Yesterday I pulled 31 Days of Prayer (by Ruth Myers and Warren Myers) off the bookshelf. After a brief scan, I decided to make it my quiet time companion for the next month or so.

Actually, I'm a little surprised I didn't read it at the time I purchased it about 8 years ago. I have loved and re-read several times the Myers' previous book, 31 Days of Praise, and it ministers to my heart in new ways every time. But this book... a book specifically about prayer? What's there to know about prayer? You just tell God what you need, right? Well, yes... but there's so much more to it...

To quote from the book, prayer "brings us into a love relationship with God, rooted in our realizing how much we need Him and our choosing to depend on Him. Prayer also links our lives with God's exciting purposes and power." I want that!! I could use some help in this area! I want my prayer life to go beyond what I call vending machine prayers... "God, I need this" and "God, help me with that"... like putting my prayer into the coin slot and expecting an answer to drop into the basket.

So I read day 1 this afternoon, and boy did God move my heart! The prayer brought up being an ambassador for Christ in all areas of my life... asking God to work in me and through me... and recognizing that God alone can give true significance to my work and activities. It just made me realize how narrow my focus has become (i.e. too inwardly focused on MY mothering responsibilities, MY kids, MY issues).

Oh, how I want to walk closely with Him and rest in the joy of His presence. All. Day. Long. I hope this book will be a springboard into a greater prayer life—not just for mySELF, but for others (known or unknown)—and to experience God freshly and more deeply in seeing Him move!

The pinings of a 5-year-old boy

2011-02-03T14:09:00.004-06:00

As heard around our house today: "Mom, I want to be a construction man when I grow up. But what if I don't know how to drive a backhoe?"

I love him! :)

The Word stands forever

2011-01-31T16:50:00.006-06:00

Of all the different kinds of flowers, I think my favoritest ones are the "just because" variety. An unexpected expression of care.

"Just because" flowers, in my world, are usually garden daisies or wild flowers. I really delight in such a lovely burst of color on an overcast, snowy winter day! But what brings me far greater joy is God's Word!

The grass withers and the flowers fade,
but the Word of our God stands forever.
Isaiah 40:8

How thankful I am that God's Word doesn't fade or die off as flowers do! His Word is rock-solid, unchanging, and eternal. The Bible is a tangible expression of God's love, faithfulness, and forgiveness... full of hope, it breathes life into what would be my purposeless existence. So in light of God's goodness, I encourage everyone to grab a Bible and ask God to speak to your heart through His Word!

Solution for grimy DVDs

2011-01-24T14:51:00.005-06:00

I learned something new today. (You might already know this, but it was new to me.) You see, I decided to start researching and borrowing children's DVDs from the library as much as is available, rather than buying them and then discovering they don't fit in with our values. Well, if you've ever rented or borrowed a DVD from a library, or Red Box, you know that they usually come complete with scratches and fingerprints.

Not sure how much detail you can see in this picture, but this DVD was covered in disgusting, grimy fingerprints. Yuck. What's a mom to do? Google it!

I found that a 50/50 mixture of water and rubbing alcohol did the trick! I took one of Daddy's old t-shirts, dipped it in the mixture, and then gently wiped (not rubbed) from the center of the disk toward the edge. Voila! Fingerprints and smudges, be gone. :)

Holiday = school's closed

2011-01-17T12:44:00.002-06:00

You know your son loves preschool when... he is sorely disappointed that it's a holiday and school is closed! :)

Cabin fever?

2011-01-14T15:48:00.005-06:00

On a lighter note... this afternoon my sons are having a blast jumping on the bed. What could be better on a cold winter day?! :)

A great way for my energetic boys to burn off some energy!! Their gleeful grins make me smile. :)

The grey days of January

2011-01-14T15:24:00.005-06:00

Ugh. I admit it: I am a whiner today. I'm tired of winter. Not tired of the snow (surprisingly, as we've gotten A LOT this year)—actually I find the snow to be quite pretty! It's the overcast days that might do me in.

Everything looks grey. I miss the sunshine.

I love sunshine. Not necessarily the hot days of summer... it's just that sunshine somehow reminds me of the warmth of God's love. A sunny day just adds a little extra bounce in my step...

"God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all." (1 John 1:5) ...Jesus, please be my Sunshine today!

Nothing can separate me/us from God's love

2011-01-12T10:48:00.005-06:00

Man, the enemy is just relentless. He keeps hammering me with doubts of God's love, and it cuts me to the core. I have been teary-eyed all morning... and it's been kind of hard keeping it together while trying to effectively mother two very busy little boys.

After I dropped Brandon off at preschool, I set Ryan up with a video downstairs and I headed to the stereo, where I could privately sing at the top of my lungs—a way to release some of my emotions. There, God led me to a Sara Groves song called, "You Cannot Lose My Love." That broke the dam of my tears...

You will lose your baby teeth
At time you'll lose your faith in Me
You will lose a lot of things
But you cannot lose My love

You may lose your appetite
Your guiding sense of wrong and right
You may lose your will to fight
But you cannot lose My love

You will lose your confidence
In times of trial, your common sense
You may lose your innocence
But you cannot lose My love

Many things can be misplaced
Your very memories be erased
No matter what the time or space
You cannot lose My love
You cannot lose My love

Romans 8:38-39 says nothing can separate us from the love of God. NOTHING!! I don't exactly know why I have such a hard time believing that God could love me. Maybe because I see all too clearly what a big fat sinner I am. But He already knew that information when He died for me while I was still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

Another verse I was just pondering, 1 John 3:1... See how very much our Father loves us, for He calls us His children, and that is what we are! This means: 1) I am loved by God, and 2) I am God's daughter! I'll have to really try to soak that in today...

Thanks for letting me share... I hope this helps someone else out there too...

O Christmas Tree...

2011-01-09T12:10:00.005-06:00

Confession: I still have my Christmas Tree up.

Brandon excitedly helped me assemble and decorate the Tree on Christmas Eve Day... and I just can't get enough of it. It just seems to make winter a little more bearable... maybe a little warmer and dreamier... or something... :)

Now, I'm not the only one who is enjoying the loveliness of the Christmas Tree. We had to stow away our coffee table (and by "stow away" I mean that it is on its side, crammed into our bedroom)—which meant the train track, which had been displayed and played with ON the coffee table, is also stashed away in a box with the trains—but for the moment, Brandon loves looking at the Tree more than he misses playing with trains.

*peaceful sigh*

Real love

2011-01-07T10:04:00.005-06:00

God's unfailing love is so far beyond my comprehension... it is so great... so high, so wide, so deep! In my limited human thinking, I keep wanting to put terms on it (like, "You are loved if ___"). And the enemy works hard to convince me that I am not worthy of God's love. I know that is a lie... yet I still find myself tempted to believe it. Ugh! That is so painful!

So this morning I soaked in the beautiful truths the Bible boldly proclaims about God's love...

God showed how much He loves us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
1 John 4:9-10

See that? Real love is not that we love Him, but that He loves us!

And...

We love others because He loved us first.
1 John 4:19

This is a really phenomenal concept! God doesn't love us because we love Him, or because we do stuff for Him—He loved us first...before we had a chance to do anything... good or bad!

There's so much about God's unfailing love in the Psalms... so I started highlighting those verses in pink. They're much easier to find that way! Over and over, His unfailing love is demonstrated toward His people. Psalm 107 is a perfect example... even after His people rebelled against Him (once again), He STILL loved them and rescued them from "darkness and deepest gloom!" Wow. His love is amazing! See what I mean about the height and width and depth of it?!

Show-and-tell

2011-01-05T14:48:00.004-06:00

Today Brandon had show-and-tell at preschool... a special show-and-tell where everybody brought their favorite Christmas gift. For Brandon, it was a toss-up between his tone block and his kazoo! Here he is, pictured playing both.

Incidentally, he decided to bring the kazoo. From what I hear, he demonstrated its operation by playing a rousing rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. (Frankly, it thrills me that something so inexpensive is such a delight to him!)

Our very own Zorro

2011-01-05T14:36:00.007-06:00

Something happened in December, and I'm not exactly sure what ... but our 5-year-old is becoming even more boyish... challenging... and shall we say, artful? Our recent discoveries....

The legendary masked swordsman Brandon who slashes B's everywhere.... on the basement door, the bathroom door, his closet door...

...and it appears writing some additional secret code. All I have to say about it is, Why is he doing this?! and Thank God for washable markers!

A work in progress

2011-01-03T15:07:00.002-06:00

Be confident of this: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus!
~ Philippians 1:6

Perspective for 2011

2011-01-01T15:10:00.004-06:00

Be thankful for
whatever God allows
to come your way.
He will not allow anything
that will not ultimately be
for your good and growth
and for His glory.
[quote by Bonnie Trude, from the booklet A Woman More Precious Than Jewels]

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes for them."~Romans 8:28

Strangers

2010-12-20T20:45:00.003-06:00

This morning my oldest son (who is about 5-1/2) asked me, "Mom, what's a stranger?" This question probably came up because the doorbell rang yesterday and he answered it before Daddy or I could get there. (It turned out to be our next-door neighbor, Miss Audrey, bearing Christmas treats — definitely not a stranger.)

Since we haven't really talked a lot about "stranger danger" I took the opportunity to explain that a stranger is someone you don't know... and that the problem with strangers is that you don't know if they're kind/good people or bad people with bad intentions.

Anyway, we talked about what could happen... that if a stranger were "bad" they could take him from us and hurt him, and then how would we find him? (I was hoping that this would impress upon him the need to use caution around people he didn't know.) Then he asked, "Would they steal our toys?" I said, "Possibly, or our computer, or our money. Or even our car." And he replied, "How would they steal our car? It would be too big to carry!"

GRIN!

Minne-snow-ta

2010-12-12T14:41:00.003-06:00

If you've watched the news you've probably heard about the big snow in Minnesota on Saturday. Wow! Now, I will admit, I was pretty skeptical of the weatherman's hype... I thought, Oh c'mon... we're Minnesotans, aren't we? What's a few inches of snow?

Well... 17" is actually quite A LOT. [sheepish grin]

Apparently this is the 5th biggest official snow total on record, and it's also the most snow in a storm since the famed Halloween Blizzard of 1991.

All I know is, I am so glad I spent the cashola to purchase warm Lands' End winter gear for my 5-year-old this year (I have the unfortunate blessing/curse of being thrifty)..... because he played outside for an hour today in 5-degree weather, and when he came in he wasn't cold in the least. Yahoo! :)

I'd say the chances of a White Christmas this year are... 100%.

Learning how to be God's woman

2010-12-01T14:15:00.004-06:00

This hit a nerve for me this morning during my time with God...

"A Christian worker [anyone called by God] has to learn how to be God's man or woman of great worth and excellence in the midst of a multitude of meager and worthless things."
~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest, October 25

He is not kidding! Can you think of "meager and worthless things" that threaten to keep you from being excellent for the Lord? I could probably rattle off a handful without thinking too hard...

Lord, help me/us run hard for You— for Your purposes and Your glory!

The road less traveled

2010-10-27T15:18:00.002-05:00

Don't expect the road less traveled to be paved.

~by my husband—King of Puns, Nicknames, and Analogies

God is sovereign, and He is good

2010-09-15T12:50:00.002-05:00

One thing I feel God impressing upon me lately is the truth of His sovereignty and how it might apply to my life as a mom...

...that I can try with all my might to be the perfect mother, but that doesn't guarantee the outcome of my kids

...that God didn't create cookie-cutter Christians, and therefore there is no one right way of training your kids

...that even if the "fruit" I so desperately want to see displayed in my kids doesn't appear to exist, it does not mean that I'm doing a bad job -- I sense God telling me not to get discouraged, because He is able to use the events of my kids' youth to form them into the men He wants them to be

How oddly it strikes me now, that after reading a number of really good parenting books I really felt like I was in control over how my kids turn out. Ha! GOD is in control, and {1} He is good and does only good; {2} He has plans to prosper my kids and me, not to harm; and {3} He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him. Knowing all of this, I don't even want to be in control! I will follow Him.

So this is just a quick update as to where I'm at these days. I deeply hope that God will use my struggles to encourage others of His goodness and love!!

{1} Psalm 119:68, {2} Jeremiah 29:11, {3} Romans 8:28

More than a sabbatical...

2010-07-28T21:23:00.002-05:00

Boo hoo... God is calling me to stop blogging (writing posts or checking other blogs) for a time.... how long? I don't know..... but I don't really wanna give it up! This is painful! But I sense Him calling me to a deeper dependency on Him, with fewer distractions. I'm really kind of sad about this... but I've felt it coming on for awhile now... and I'm finally just obeying.

So, I guess this is.... well, it's not good-bye...... it's see ya later! Please know how much I have enjoyed this sweet fellowship with you, my fellow moms! You have ministered to my heart in the most beautiful ways...

With love,
Sara K.

Lighten up a little, I say!

2010-07-23T13:11:00.007-05:00

I received this as an email. Don't know that it's very edifying...but perhaps worth a grin or a chuckle, at least! :)

In this life I'm a woman. If I ever had a "next life" I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everybody knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He also EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Just sorta makes me want to be a bear. :)

Being led somewhere new, deeper...

2010-07-15T09:03:00.005-05:00

I get the sense that God is leading me somewhere new in my faith. A deepening. He is reassuring me of His goodness and love. And He is leading me to discover more depth of Who He is.

The process is not quick, and at times it is rather uncomfortable... which makes me want to rush it along! But God is a gentle leader, and He takes me by the hand and walks through it with me. Even when He seems silent, I still know He's there.

Last Sunday at church we sang a song called You Alone Can Rescue, and the first verse goes like this:

Who, O Lord, could save themselves?
Their own soul could heal?
My shame was deeper than the sea;
Your grace is deeper still.

The third line, "My shame was deeper than the sea," really resonated with me, as I had lost my temper with my boys when we were heading out the door for church that morning. Tears started to fill my eyes. Then I sang the line, "Your grace is deeper still"—but the Spirit nudged me when that line didn't resonate as strongly as the one about my shame. It became abundantly clear to me that my shame is bigger in my mind than God's grace!! Yikes! So I've been praying about that...

I just finished reading a book by Larry Crabb called The Pressure's Off. This has been part of my "process" too. The author points out that many of us Christians can get hung up seeking God more for His blessings than just to enjoy His presence, and how we get caught in a trap of trying to do everything "right" so God will bless our lives (i.e. follow these steps for a perfect marriage, perfect kids, etc.). But that's not accurate theology! God is sovereign and He has a purpose and a plan for everything in our lives, especially the difficult and painful stuff.

Here are a few quotes from the book (from ch. 19) that revealed my heart on a few things...

As a culture, present-day Christianity has redefined spiritual maturity. ... We're so committed to discovering and applying God's principles for making life work that we no longer value intimacy with God as our greatest blessing. ...

We seem more interested in managing life into a comfortable existence than letting God spiritually transform us through life's hardships.

...Jean Pierre de Caussade...believed that everything that happened to him, both blessings and trials, led him to God.

...all things in life...are part of a grand design. They're intended by an uncontrollable, mysterious, and relentlessly single-minded [God] to immerse us in His relational life.

Doesn't that just cut right down to the bone? It helped me see that I had gotten off track. My deepest passion in life is to love God and live my life for Him, but somewhere along the line (during my difficulties with parenting and my self-loathing) my focus had shifted to my desire to have an easier life, and seeking God more for blessings than simply enjoying being with Him! I'm glad my eyes have been opened to this. It is changing the way I pray. Not that I don't ask Him for help anymore, but I am trying to focus more on Him and His wonderfulness than on what He can do for me. It is a beautiful thing!

Lord, I do not want to settle for the happiness that comes from an easier life. I want to encounter You more than I want blessings from You!

[Sorry my posts are often so long! I try to be concise...but I imagine it as being like sitting down for coffee with you in fellowship. ☺]

Fearfully and wonderfully made

2010-07-08T20:22:00.004-05:00

Recently I was at my chiropractor's office having a session of therapeutic massage. Oh, glory! I had a kink behind my shoulder blade for over a week, and it radiated down into my arm... youch!

During my session, I could hear the receptionist—a bubbly woman in her early 50s—laughing just outside the door, and it made me grin. Her laugh is just sort of contagious. And I started thinking, "She has such a buoyant personality—always a sunny outlook." (And to think she had just told me she has breast cancer would be having a mastectomy the following week!) I found myself wishing that God had made my personality a little more merry, like hers. It made me wonder what the world would be like if more people's personalities were more cheerful and uplifting. Couldn't God use more personalities like that? Wouldn't you think He'd place more value on an outgoing, cheerful personality?

But then I remembered how God made us as individuals—Psalm 139 says He knit me together in my mother's womb—and further, in Genesis 1:27, that we were made in His image. We each have our own distinct personality that HE chose specifically for us... why? For His good purposes, for His enjoyment, and for His glory!

So I have concluded God must have His reasons for making everyone so different, and some of us less naturally sunny than others... and He values them all! He delights in us (Psalm 149:4). And He can use our personalities in beautiful ways when we surrender ourselves to Him and allow Him to channel our natural tendencies toward being sensitive, or bossy, or laid back, or gregarious. :)

My husband is downstairs presently, playing his guitar and singing "He loves us, oh how He loves us..." (a David Crowder song)—and how fitting as I sit here pondering how to conclude this post. Thank you, God, for loving us so completely!

Plans to prosper you, not to harm you

2010-06-30T20:09:00.004-05:00

About a year ago, the four of us (me, Jon, and our two sons) were playing in the living room. Brandon was doing something nutty (I wish I could remember what it was exactly) and Jon asked him to stop. Brandon was fairly upset about it, and as Jon was trying to explain to him that he could get hurt, the first thing that sprang to my lips, albeit sort of jokingly, was, "Oh, Brandon... Daddy has plans to prosper you, not to harm you!"

Now, Jeremiah 29:11 has long been a favorite verse of mine...
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
...but I'd never put it in such a context... and suddenly I could really visualize God asking me to do or not do something out of the heart of a loving Father who knows what's best for His child!

Parenting can really give you some awesome insights into God's love! ☺

A sabbatical of sorts

2010-06-24T14:46:00.005-05:00

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)

This morning God put these verses on my heart. I am viewing them from the standpoint of a parent needing to discipline my children. It is unpleasant for everyone involved. BUT, it will "produce a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it"! I want that for my sons!!

My oldest son's attitude seems to slip a little further south every day. It's hard to put a finger on it, but I know that I factor into it [not being self-deprecating]. I feel silly admitting it, but somehow I don't always see clearly when I need to discipline—I can be lulled into a state of dullness—and my natural tendency is to lean more toward the side of grace [in the form of giving a zillion reminders and warnings] when it comes to disobedience... but a four-year-old does not understand the concept of grace... only that he's gotten away with something.

So anyway, I've gotta get focused. I have a big job on my hands. An important one. An eternal one. My kids need more focused training. It's not a "me thing"—where I'm wanting perfection or an easier life, like I mentioned in my last post—it's a "righteousness and peace thing". Somehow even the simplest things distract my thoughts, my mission—even the most basic things. And my time is so limited. The only "me time" I'm really allotted is from 1:00 to 2:00 while my sons are having roomtime—and I am desperately needing that time to realign my focus, my heart with the Lord's.

So I have to choose—how will I use my time? Choosing is hard. But I am determined to fill my head with the Word and prayer as much as I can, so I can be at my best for training and nurturing my kids.

I'm telling you this in case you wonder about my silence! :) I am still here and things are OK, I just won't be on the computer much during the week. On the weekend I should have a little more time to catch up on things, though! I am energized by the fellowship I have with you, my dear fellow bloggers! Your friendships mean more to me than you could ever know! I will be thinking of you during the week, and hoping to make a few connections perhaps in the evenings or on the weekends.

I am comforted by the words of Hebrews 4:15,16...
This High Priest of ours [Jesus] understands our weaknesses, for He faced all of the same testings we do, yet He did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Thank you, Jesus.

What's the motive?

2010-06-21T12:36:00.004-05:00

I was inspired last Friday. I sat down with a pen and paper while my kids were playing and started assessing my role as a mom as well as my sons' progress. I wrote down some areas in which I felt the boys were needing improvement... some new rules (such as, no jumping off the arms of the couch) ...things I want to pray more diligently about (that my boys would be lovers of God more than lovers of pleasure) ...and exhortations to myself, like, "You're in this season with the boys—like it or not—don't miss these great opportunities to train them!" I also recognized that the chore chart of a 4-year-old boy is more indicative of my diligence in requiring his help than his desire/ability. And I started drafting a loose schedule for these summer days, seeing that large quantities of unplanned time land the boys in trouble (you know what they say about idle hands!).

So I was feeling pretty good about all that, even though it was just a brainstorming session for me. But as I was discussing it with my husband on Saturday, I realized that, while these things are all good, I need to be careful that my hope isn't just to create an easier life for myself! That sneaky motive of the “easy life” was creeping in again!

I'm so glad that came to light! While I still intend to somehow implement my ideas, I want to do so without my goal (or my hope) being in an easier, more pain-free life. I want my heart to be centered on God's leading and His will for my life—and focusing on my faithfulness as a parent, not fruit! God's ways are good and perfect, and I know I will never be disappointed if I seek His heart on the way I should live!

Have you ever started making plans...but then felt God remind you to check your motives? Are you willing to wait on God's timing and be content with His processes, purposes, and plans for your life? (I am asking myself the same question!) I'm so glad God is so loving—never accusing or demeaning—in His manner toward us!

Extreme mercy

2010-06-11T19:27:00.003-05:00

I've had a break-through! Praise the Lord!! This is what happened during my time with God today:

I read 2 Chronicles 33:1-20, which tells of Manasseh's reign as king of Judah. Manasseh did terribly wicked things:

* he built pagan altars in the Temple of the Lord
* he set up an idol in God's Temple
* he sacrificed his own sons in the fire
* he led the people of Judah & Jerusalem to do even more evil than the pagan nations God had destroyed when the people of Israel entered the land

The Bible says he aroused the Lord's anger! Verse 10 says the Lord spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they ignored all His warnings! So the Lord allowed Assyria to take Manasseh prisoner.

But while in deep distress, Manasseh sought the Lord his God and sincerely humbled himself before the God of his ancestors. And when he prayed, the Lord listened to him and was moved by his request.
(2 Chronicles 33:12-13)

Can you believe that?! After all the wicked things Manasseh had done, when he humbled himself before the Lord, God heard his prayer and rescued him, restoring him to his role as king! God's mercy is incredible!!

So after reading that, I started feeling this peace settling into my soul... that if God could forgive Manasseh, He could surely forgive an imperfect parent like me... when almost immediately the words of those parenting books came back to me, like hands around my throat, in judgement. "You can win with your kids!" they said. Yet I saw only failures; so this is what completely robs me of being able to enjoy my kids or my role as a mom.

My heart cried out, "How do I break these chains?!" I could almost feel the freedom... it was so close... like I could see Jesus' open arms, and I was moving toward Him with my arms outstretched... almost had my hands in His hands... but it was just beyond my grasp... and the enemy soldiers snatched me away and escorted me back to the POW camp.

"Help me, Jesus! What can I do?" I cried out to the Lord (instead of calling a friend or emailing a pastor).

Then He spoke to my heart: So, what are you going to believe, Sara? The books, or Me?

"You, Lord, of course," I responded. And right then, I realized that those authors weren't trying to set an impossible standard for parenting; rather, they were trying to encourage by saying, "Don't give up when the going gets tough, or when the world says your efforts won't matter. God will help you 'win' if you seek Him." [They didn't clarify that 'winning' doesn't mean your kids are perfectly behaved, or that they have 'arrived' by age 6 or 10 or 15 (or ever).]

Anyway.... God did it! He slayed that big dragon!! No more condemnation! My heart feels so light, and I have been in sweet communion with the Lord all evening. It feels wonderful! Lord, help me continue to take in Your tender mercy more and more!

Question about books

2010-06-09T12:55:00.004-05:00

Can I ask y'all.... what is your rule of thumb with regard to buying books?

My mom is a huge book lover and owns many books, and my husband and I both love reading as well..... we have tons of books around the house (my husband even built a bookshelf above our closet doors to accommodate our burgeoning book collection—his ingenious design is pictured below—and we have another big bookcase in the living room).

So as I search for books for my sons, or find ones they like at the library, it is very tempting for me to buy them! (Especially when I can find a good price on eBay or Amazon.)

So I thought I'd poll my blogging pals—how do you decide, especially with kids books, what to buy and what to simply check out at the library?

Henry and Mudge

2010-06-09T11:22:00.006-05:00

I found a book series that Brandon (who is almost 5) really enjoys, called Henry and Mudge—about a young boy, Henry, and his canine companion, Mudge, an English Mastiff.

This one, called Henry and Mudge and the Best Day of All, is Brandon's new favorite. (Is it any wonder why, since his 5th birthday is on the horizon?)

There are 28 books in the Henry and Mudge series, which Cynthia Rylant has written over a 20 year period starting in 1987.

In doing a little digging, it appears that this book series might be commonly found in 2nd or 3rd grade curriculums—but for now, my son thoroughly enjoys having them read to him... over and over again! ☺

Boys, trucks, and dirt

2010-06-02T16:34:00.007-05:00

Here's what we've been up to lately: enjoying the great outdoors in suburbia! Here are a few pics of my boys in their usual spot... in the dirt. In this case, that would be the dirt around our bushes. We're too cheap to spring for a sandbox. Kidding! We just haven't gotten around to it. (You know, gotta find one—or make one—with a cover so the neighborhood cat doesn't claim it as his new litter box. Ew.) In this picture, Brandon looked up just in time to say "cheeeese."

Notice how dirty Ryan's legs and socks are? He's down in it...

...on his tummy... in a white t-shirt, of course... having a good ol' time. (What was his mother thinking??) I am starting to accept that he may need a bath daily.

I love it when they play together nicely like this! My heart's desire is for them to be best friends. ☺

Change is in his future...and mine

2010-05-26T08:02:00.004-05:00

Ryan, my 2-1/2 year old son, is adventurous. He likes to climb on stuff. And under stuff. He always has. Two weeks ago he figured out how to climb into his crib. Yesterday, he climbed out of it (and landed with a sharp thud on floor, followed by loud crying—he's not terribly agile...built more like a football player ☺).

So now my husband and I have to seriously consider a "big boy bed" for Ryan. However, I confess I am really anxious about this! My biggest concern: it takes this child over an hour to fall asleep at night! He lays in his crib (often with his legs propped up against the crib rail) and jabbers, recites movie lines, and sings at the top of his lungs. It's actually quite funny to observe... but I'm sure you can understand my concern. My schedule has been running like a fairly well-oiled machine around here... at least as far as knowing what to expect (what time everybody wakes up, etc.). And Momma needs her time with God first thing in the morning!

BUT, I have to remember how nervous I was when Brandon first slept in his "big boy bed" when he was just 2 years old... and he did it! He obeyed us and stayed in bed, and he still stays in bed.

So, another great millstone... er, milestone, that is... ahead for la Casa de K! Any advice or perspective is welcome! ☺

Therefore... pray

2010-05-22T11:07:00.002-05:00

Last weekend our pastor gave a message at church called "The End is Near" based on 1 Peter 4:7-11. Here's what I took away from it.

Verse 7—"The end of all things is near. Therefore..."

Therefore, what???

This verse was written about 2,000 years ago, and the end was near then.... so here in the year 2010 the end is likely even nearer now! (Especially when you look at world events.) What would you do if you only had 30 days to live? Or 100 days to live? Eat all the desserts you want? Take a vacation? Buy that $200 pair of shoes you've been eyeing? Share the Gospel with someone on your heart? Make amends for a broken relationship? Wrap up some other loose ends?

Pastor joked about his devotion to his ever-important "to-do" lists, and how his wife calls him a human doing instead of a human being.

But according to verse 7—therefore..."be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray."

Thought: *Do you believe more can be done by praying than doing??*

Verse 8—therefore..."love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."

Verse 9—therefore..."offer hospitality to one another without grumbling."

Verses 10,11—therefore..."each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms..."

Pretty convicting, eh? I thought so... especially the part about praying vs. doing.

Favorite things

2010-05-19T13:15:00.002-05:00

This morning as I was lying in bed, before I got up for the day, I started thinking about things I would classify as my favorite things. Here is a short list...

1. a good stretch first thing in the morning (the kind that evokes a "rrrr" sound from deep within)
2. morning sunshine
3. a "coffee date" with a girlfriend
4. the sound of mourning doves calling
5. a mid-day quiet time on our patio (when the kids are napping) in the shade of the maple tree
6. singing my heart out to loud worship music in the car
7. going for a walk in the quiet of morning
8. a back-scratch
9. the [usually] sweet countenance of my boys when they first wake up ☺

What are your favorite things?

Seeing Jesus' loving, patient, kind character

2010-05-17T11:12:00.003-05:00

This morning in the car, I was really thinking about God's love for me. I had these thoughts as I was watching a man limp across the street: "I hope no one makes fun of him and makes him feel bad" (as my eyes filled up with tears). And I thought, I bet that's how God feels toward that man... protective like a father. And then I thought, I bet that's how God feels toward ME... protective like a father... saying to Himself, "I will be upset if someone makes fun of my Sara..."—and that was a very precious thought to me.

For the last several days I have been reading from Luke, and writing down verses and thoughts about how Jesus ministered (showed love) to people in personal ways—and it is pretty neat (and obvious) to see His loving, patient, kind character. Some of my favorites are:

Luke 4:40 — "As the sun went down that evening, people throughout the village brought sick family members to Jesus. No matter what their diseases were, the touch of His hand healed every one."
---> Jesus touched each one individually, and healed them. I would bet He looked deeply and lovingly into the eyes of each one of them too.

Luke 5:18 — "Some men came carrying a paralyzed man on a sleeping mat. They tried to take him inside to Jesus, but they couldn’t reach Him because of the crowd. So they went up to the roof and took off some tiles. Then they lowered the sick man on his mat down into the crowd, right in front of Jesus. Seeing their faith, Jesus said to the man, 'Young man, your sins are forgiven.'"
---> Jesus was teaching to a crowd when this happened, and He wasn't irritated that they interrupted Him. He saw their faith and this man's need, and He attended to them.

Luke 5:12 — "In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. “Lord,” he said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.” Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” And instantly the leprosy disappeared."
---> Jesus touched this man, who had an advanced case of leprosy! The man probably hadn't been touched by anyone in a long time. That in itself must have been such a gift! But then Jesus healed him too!

So I'm just being reminded again of how very loving and kind Jesus is, how merciful and compassionate. Again, not sure how I lost sight of that—but probably something to do with me being a little too introspective during my struggles here, and not letting Him minister to my heart—almost like I rejected His love because I insisted I was too much of a sinner.... just like Peter in Luke 5:8 — "When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m too much of a sinner to be around You.” —But Jesus then went on to invite Peter to join Him in "fishing for men"...... amazing! Jesus doesn't require perfection, and His love and compassion for us is great! So awesome!!

Organization = pleasure

2010-05-16T14:04:00.006-05:00

I love organization. It's in my blood. It gives me great pleasure! I admit, I can be a bit compulsive at times... like at the store when perusing the greeting cards, I have to restrain myself from putting the ones that are out of place back where they belong! HOWEVER, being married and having children has helped me loosen up on my neatnik tendencies. ☺

Well anyway... I was just looking in one of my cupboards and went, "Aak! Too much clutter!" A little reorganizing was in order. Here's the before...

...and after...

OK. Maybe to some of you, there's not much difference... but for me, immense satisfaction! ☺ Gotta love those Modular Mates® from Tupperware!

God IS love

2010-05-14T19:27:00.003-05:00

And I ask Him that...you'll be able to take in with all the followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.
[Ephesians 3:18, The Message]

Two nights ago I was talking to my husband, Jon, about my continuing struggle to understand [to "take in"] God's love for me. I was trying to describe how painful it is... that it sort of feels like being in a loveless marriage, where God is just going through the motions—He's committed to stay in the relationship and choosing to do loving things, even though He doesn't really feel love for me. (Isn't that awful? Yes, I realize these thoughts are very skewed... do ya think the enemy has maybe been working overtime on me?!?)

But then Jon reminded me of 1 John 4:8... "God is love."

Talk about a light bulb moment! God IS love! (How could I have forgotten that?) He doesn't just act it out because it's the right thing to do; He embodies it!! He can't fake it or do it half-heartedly; it is His very character... the very threads of His being!

Oh, and regarding my feelings that God's love feels "collective" instead of individual (such as in John 3:16... "God so loved the world")—my pastor reminded me that God's character is constant and consistent: what is true collectively is true for the individual. And, God shows His intimate interest in our individual lives in Psalm 139—as God had just reminded me about two weeks ago (see my post from May 3).

I'm still processing this, but the truth of it is amazing—God loves me personally! And He loves you personally!

Perhaps to some people this might sound so elementary—you'd think I would know this stuff after 14 years! Obviously, the enemy really pulled one over on me through my parenting guilt—but as I "re-learn" about God's love and mercy, I think it goes deeper and deeper. And how can I not share what I'm learning?—it's exciting! And in case someone else is struggling the way I have, that they might find hope too.

Sleep peacefully tonight, friends—you are deeply loved by the God of the universe. ☺

Sweetness

2010-05-12T13:11:00.003-05:00

My 4-year-old son just made me cry.

In a good way!

I was just getting him set up for his "room-time" (he has room-time while his little brother has nap-time). I explained to him that I was planning to lay down and take a nap too, because my head was starting to hurt, and that he would need to be extra quiet. Upon hearing this information, his brow furrowed and he said in a somewhat uncommon moment of sweetness, "Oh, Momma... I'm sorry your head is hurting. Can I kiss it for you?" Melt my heart! Tears started to well-up in my eyes as I let God minister to me through my son's sweet hug and kiss.

So precious.

Things I don't need

2010-05-11T08:47:00.000-05:00

This is written with Lamentations 3:22-23 in mind... "To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God."

Who needs an alarm clock (or a rooster)... when your child awakens at the crack of dawn? Not sure what goes on with my 4-year-old son's "internal clock" but he seems to wake up earlier and earlier all the time. Ever since THE DAY daylight savings time began in March, he shifted back one hour instead of forward an hour!! (So his new wake-up time became 6:00 instead of 8:00!) How does this happen?? And for the last several days, he's been waking up at 5:40!

Who needs a treadmill... when you're up and down the stairs all day long? A diaper needs changing, someone needs discipline, Brandon needs assistance at the potty, grabbing the laundry, fetching snacks, etc. I guess that's the way it is with small kids ...and perhaps God's provision (after all, I can't seem to find time to get on the treadmill anyway)!

I hope it is evident that I am just poking fun at my "lot in life" and not complaining—this is kind of like comic relief for me! It's simply a glimpse of my reality—and it kind of makes me laugh because it's so crazy! :)

Love and mercy that never cease

2010-05-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is His faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning.
[Lamentations 3:21-23]

I love these verses! And this morning it really hit me... no matter what my circumstance—trouble or hardship, sin or mistake—God does not turn His back on me or get P.O.'d and withdraw His love. He may be saddened by it, as a father would be—but He is merciful in every situation! He wants the best for us and wants to help us succeed! That is so remarkable... so beautiful, this love of His! It truly is His kindness that leads us toward repentance! (Romans 2:4)

Oh, happy day ☺

Mother's Day humor

2010-05-09T19:53:00.004-05:00

This was the Mother's Day card I received from my boys...

It says: Hope everyone pees where they're supposed to today. Happy Mother's Day!

That made me laugh out loud! Perhaps it was especially funny to me since I am dealing with a 4-year-old who is still perfecting his aim (or simply distracted while on the job). Ahhhh, a little comic relief is good for the soul. :)

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there! God bless you!

It's sinking in!

2010-05-05T17:15:00.004-05:00

This afternoon around 4:00, when I was just starting supper, my husband called. He needed us to come and rescue him. He's been on vacation this week and was on the other side of town having coffee and TWG (time with God), but he couldn't get his car started.

So I grab the boys and we head across town. Of course, I'm in a hurry, because I don't want Jon to wait any longer than he has to... and because supper would now be delayed.

I pull up behind an SUV at a stop sign. She's waiting to turn left. Ugh.... she's not taking ANY risks... and as I observe her missing several opportunities to turn, I start muttering under my breath. "This is going to take forever! Come on, lady!"

From the backseat I hear, "It's OK, Mom" as my son tries to reassure me. "God wants us to be kind."

Deep breath. "Yep, you're right, honey," I say. "I'm sorry for being impatient."

And then it hits me. He's getting it!! The God-stuff we're trying to teach him.... you know... "Talk about it when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up" ....it's sinking in! Even though he has many transgressions in a day, I felt much satisfaction that the things we are teaching him about God and His ways is indeed penetrating his little mind and heart! Hurray!!!

What is success in parenting?

2010-05-04T20:57:00.006-05:00

Hi there. Just thinking about parenting stuff again. Had a hard day yesterday for some reason... found myself near tears much of the afternoon.

But this morning during my TWG (time with God) I was asking Him for greater patience and telling Him how difficult I think parenting is, and I had these thoughts:

If I have difficulties in my marriage, am I a failure? No—that's normal when two individuals with differing ideas, personalities, and life experience come together under one roof. The key to their success is being humble before the Lord and unified through Him. Does "success" mean they never have strife? No. It means they don't give up, but keep striving to be obedient and faithful to God's ways.

So... if I have difficulties as a parent, why do I think I'm a failure?! In raising children, I'm starting out with raw material (not necessarily a blank slate, as the sin nature is present from birth)—and I have 18 years of training, teaching, loving, correcting, etc. these young, unique individuals. So what does "success" in parenting look like? Does it mean I never have strife? I don't think so. It means I am seeking the Lord for guidance and wisdom, and I am being faithful to do what He leads me to do.

I need to stop asking, "Why is this so difficult?" And I need to stop looking at anyone else's family and thinking they have it easier. (Quite frankly, if God had given me "easy" children, I probably would be judgmental and self-righteous toward others... so for that reason, I am thankful God knew which children to give me!) I don't think God calls His people to "easy" anyway. I need to trust that God has a purpose and a perfect plan.

This quote from an article in Christianity Today, called The Myth of the Perfect Parent, soothes me—especially in light of those who are considered "faith heroes" in Hebrews 11, many of whom "were raised in anything but model homes, and many of them were themselves highly flawed parents"—

"We will parent imperfectly, our children will make their own choices, and God will mysteriously and wondrously use it all to advance His kingdom."

Yes, Lord! Use it all for Your glory!

God knows me/us very personally

2010-05-03T13:35:00.003-05:00

A few nights ago, I was reading a devotion from the book Finding Joy: More Confessions of an Irritable Mother. The author, Karen Hossink, was telling about a difficult morning she had, and how she felt like God had given her a hug through a store clerk's kindness, which turned her crabbiness into a smile. She writes, "I got into the van and I asked Him, Why? Why are You so kind to me? I have been moody and irritable. I am an emotional mess. Why do You love me? Then I remembered the Truth about God's love. It is unconditional. He does not take cues from me to decide whether or not He is going to love me on any particular day. God does not hold back on His love when I am PMSing, and He does not pour it out more richly when I am following in the footsteps of Mary Poppins. He loves me unconditionally, simply because He chooses to."

I love that! My eyes welled-up with tears, and God started speaking to my heart about how intimately acquainted He is with me. I wrote in my journal:

God knows everything about me (Ps 139:1b) and knit me together in my mother's womb (Ps 139:13b). Even the very hairs on my head are all numbered (Mt 10:30). Not even a single sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without my heavenly Father knowing it, and I am more valuable to Him than a whole flock of sparrows (Mt 10:29,31). How good it feels to know that I'm not just a number... not just lumped in with a group... but that I am an individual, and I was tailor-made by Him, making me His workmanship.

That evening with God was so personal and I felt the warmth of His presence. He reassured me that He is using this time (the pain/grief I've had in my heart for the last 2+ years) to deepen my faith in His love and grace, and just to give me a greater depth of concept of who He is. And to that I respond:

O Lord, I give my life to You.
I trust in You, my God!
Lead me by Your truth and teach me,
for You are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in You!
[Psalm 25:1,3]

At a loss for words...

2010-05-02T18:30:00.003-05:00

I am kind of laughing and furrowing my brow at the same time. Are they serious?? Now really.... what can one say about such things? Are we, as a society, really this ignorant? (I am fighting the urge to make sarcastic remarks here... but "Whatever is...noble...pure...excellent or praiseworthy...think about such things...") *sigh*

The new me

2010-05-02T18:08:00.006-05:00

Well, I did it. After 2-1/2 years of growing my hair out—for the ease of parenting small children (low maintenance, less frequent hair-cuts)....

I had 6" of hair chopped off on Saturday! Ta-da!

While I can see there is going to be a learning curve for styling it myself, I have no regrets. I was ready for a change... and just in time for the warmer weather ahead! :)

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

2010-05-01T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today we say good-bye to an old friend, the highchair. Many sweet memories were made there... and a few big messes. :) But our 2-1/2 year old has graduated to a booster seat at the dining room table, so we no longer have need for the highchair. [My babies are growing up!] It was handed down to us five years ago, and now we, in turn, will pass it on to another family who has a baby on the way.

Farewell, ol' highchair. Be a blessing to this new family!

God involves people

2010-04-30T18:04:00.000-05:00

Lately it seems I've been on an unofficial mission to better understand who God is—can you tell? :) I've been walking closely with the Lord for over 14 years, but during the last 2 years I lost sight of His love and grace [basically I had been laying with my face in a big cow pie of my own failings as a mother, because I started buying into the enemy's lies that God's grace couldn't possibly keep flowing day after day to cover over my imperfections in child rearing]—so painful! So now I'm in the process of rediscovery, I guess. I know much of what it says about God's grace in the New Testament (head-knowledge, at least)—but, much to my surprise, I've been finding a significant amount of comfort from what I'm learning about God in the Old Testament!

Anyway, I was just thinking this morning (as I was washing the bathroom floor, of all things) about Adam naming all the animals God created. It says in Genesis 2:19, "So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man [Adam] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one." And it struck me—why did God do that? In His marvelous creativity, He fashioned every animal on the earth... yet He gave the job of naming the animals to Adam! I think it shows God's relationality (is that a word?)—He wanted to involve Adam in the process! By the way, Adam also named his wife Eve (Gen. 3:20)....

God's compassion

2010-04-28T06:38:00.000-05:00

I am fascinated by these imperfect humans in the Bible whom God chose to show His glory through! Yesterday I read about Gideon in Judges 6 & 7. God told Gideon he would rescue Israel from the Midianites, but Gideon doubted God and asked for a sign (Gideon put out a fleece—twice!). Then a little later, the Lord flat-out tells Gideon, "I have given you victory over them. But if you are afraid to attack, go down to their camp with your servant Puran. Listen to what the Midianites are saying and you will be greatly encouraged. Then you will be eager to attack." (Judges 7:9-11)

What kind of God is this? That seems like a pretty compassionate thing of God to offer!! He could have said, "Look, Gideon. I already told you straight-up that I will make you win the battle—just believe what I said! I am God! Who are you to question or doubt me?!" But instead God gives Gideon an opportunity to be encouraged by eavesdropping on the Midianite army. He didn't have to do that for Gideon. Amazing.

It is also interesting to me that Gideon is listed among others in Hebrews 11 as a "great example of faith"—despite his questioning God, "Give me proof that You will do what You say."

It just makes me say, Thank you, God, that You are merciful!

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him!" [Psalm 103:13]

God uses ordinary, imperfect people

2010-04-27T06:43:00.000-05:00

I just read a fictional book about Rahab yesterday. God had promised to give Jericho to the Israelites, and Joshua sent spies to check things out in Jericho. Rahab was the prostitute in Jericho who hid the Israelite spies from the king of Jericho's soldiers. While she had been living in a sinful lifestyle, Rahab recognized God for who He is. She says to the spies in Joshua 2:8 and 11, "I know that the LORD has given this land to you... No wonder our hearts have melted in fear! ... For the Lord your God is the supreme God of the heavens above and the earth below."

It would appear that Rahab turned from her sinful ways, as it says in Joshua 6:25 that she lived among the Israelites after being rescued from Jericho. And, in Matthew 1, you can see that she is part of Jesus' ancestry! She gave birth to Boaz, who was father of Obed, who was father of Jesse, who was father of David! Isn't that incredible?! God truly uses ordinary, imperfect people for His purposes! All I can do is sit here and marvel at God's ways!

Somehow this adds to my hope in the Lord. He's not requiring perfect, sin-free people. That reminds me, it says in 1 Corinthians 1:26-28, "Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things..."

Anyway... I just feel God's love and acceptance today—and you should too! As it says in 1 Corinthians 1:31, "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord!" I am not perfect, but I love Him—and He loved me [and you] first! (1 John 4:19)

"Tickies"

2010-04-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

My oldest, Brandon, loves to be tickled! Kids are funny, ya know? He'll say, "Mom, I need some tickies!" [He calls getting tickled tickies.] His best spots are on his neck and up his pant-leg to his knees. My tickles are always met with fits of laughter and shouts of "Stop! Stop!" But about 2 seconds after I stop, he'll say, "Do it again!"

During today's "tickies" session, I realized how much I love hearing my son giggle. What joy his laughter brings to my heart! And joy really feels good. :) So bring on the tickies!

Make your own taco seasoning

2010-04-22T20:05:00.001-05:00

I recently found a recipe for homemade taco seasoning (instead of buying the stuff in the packet)—and after tweaking it a bit, I'd say (and my husband would agree) it tastes just like the store-bought stuff, only better! Here's the recipe...

Ingredients:
1/4 c. chili powder
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. oregano
1-1/2 tsp. sea salt
2 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. cayenne
1/2 Tbsp. black pepper
2 Tbsp. cumin

Directions:
Stir all ingredients together. Store in airtight container.

To prepare taco meat:
Brown 1 lb. ground beef or ground turkey. Add 2-1/2 to 3 Tbsp. taco seasoning mix with 2/3 cup water. Simmer.

I like it! A lot! Not only does it taste awesome... I also KNOW what's in it! :)

A repentant heart

2010-04-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

So think clearly and exercise self-control. Set your hope fully on the grace to be given to you when Jesus Christ is revealed. So you must live as God's obedient children. Don't slip back into your old ways of living to satisfy your own desires. You didn't know any better then. But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, "Be holy, because I am holy."
(1 Peter 1:13-16)

I'm going to be very honest here. I couldn't figure out why I was initially repelled by these verses. It felt like condemnation... but no... that is the devil trying to deceive me. God doesn't condemn, He convicts. Yes, what I'm feeling is conviction—guilt that leads to godly sorrow and then repentance. The biggest, most obvious area where I "slip back into old ways of living to satisfy my own desires" is on the computer—not because of what I'm viewing (none of it is impure), but because of when I'm viewing it (while I should be hanging with my boys).

Mothering is probably THE hardest thing I've ever done—requiring very significant amounts of endurance, patience (long-suffering!), and sacrifice—and I find myself often looking for an escape... obviously not in drinking, drugs, or affairs... but on the internet (primarily email and blogs). It is precisely for this reason that I do not have a Facebook profile! [I have no other vices—I can't even have coffee or chocolate, because I'm taking a homeopathic to support my thyroid, and caffeine and homeopathics don't jive!]

Help me, Lord, to have self-control... to not turn on the computer unless the boys are napping or in bed for the night... to just BE WITH my boys and find joy in that! I don't want to live my days with a guilty conscience. [I wonder how much that contributes to my questioning of God's love and grace?] "Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." (James 4:17) This may not be "sin" for everybody, but it is for me, for right now. I violate my own conscience when I sit at the computer while my son(s) are left playing alone. (I feel they are too young at 2- and 4-years-old.)

I am tempted not to make this humble [humiliating?] confession; however, I sense God leading me to do it in this way.

Have mercy on me, O God, because of Your unfailing love. Because of Your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. {2} Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. {3} For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. {7} Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me and I will be whiter than snow. {8} ...give me back my joy again... {9} ...Remove the stain of my guilt. {10} Create in me a clean heart, O God... {12} Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You.

{16} You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. {17} The sacrifice You desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
(Psalm 51:1-3, 7-10, 12, 16-17)

Wow... my heart actually feels much lighter! I feel cleansed and purified! I think I'm really starting to take in God's grace and mercy again! Not because I think I'm good enough, but because I am seeing it for what it really is: undeserved favor! Awesome!

My Mom

2010-04-18T20:29:00.001-05:00

I think my mom is the best! When I was growing up, I thought everybody had a mom who was patient and kind, who loved them unconditionally, who was eager to hear about their day and their thoughts, who encouraged them, who said "I love you" every day, who apologized when they were wrong, and who made them feel like they were something special—like I did. After talking with friends in college, I learned how blessed I really was/am!

(This picture of me and Mom was taken in 2007—look at my short hair! I'm thinking about chopping it short like that again. Whoopee!)

While I'm afraid I'll never live up to the "legacy" of my mom, I recall something one of our pastors said at a parenting seminar... he said, "I can never be a perfect parent, but I can be perfectly humble." And you know, the Bible says the Lord leads the humble, teaching them His way (Psalm 25:9)... and oh, do I need leading!! Come, Lord Jesus!

Incidentally, my husband and I did get to go to the homeschool conference—for some much needed time away together—yay!—thanks to my wonderful mom and dad watching the boys for us!!!

Struggles produce perseverence, perseverence produces character...

2010-04-15T14:48:00.000-05:00

I've been reading a book called Confessions of an Irritable Mother which has caused me to really stop and think about how God's goal is to help me become holy, like Him—not as a barking drill sergeant, but as a loving Father—and how struggles produce perseverance, and perseverance produces character (Romans 5). I mean, think about it. Yes, I want to be regarded as a woman of character! But does character mean I've had an easy life and I just have a cheery smile on my face all day long? No. Character is persevering and passing the test of one's trials. And a person does not develop character without struggles!

Anyone who knows me knows I've been struggling with motherhood for quite awhile. My responses to the challenges of raising two busy, boyish young sons isn't always so good. I yell sometimes. More often than I'd like. That leaves me feeling guilty and beaten down (What kind of mom am I?)... and over time, this guilt has eroded my view of God's love for me (How could He keep loving and forgiving me day after day?).

Yesterday morning started out rough (Brandon woke up too early and was sporting a baaad 'tude). So I caught a few moments to myself while making Brandon's bed and was asking God to help me persevere.

I felt God impress upon me that He's not trying to be unkind... He didn't give me difficult children to be cruel... but that this uncomfortableness isn't going to let up until I "get" what He is trying to show me about His love for me. It's going to take more than just a quick flip through the Bible to find another "promise" to cling to. Like a loving parent, He is allowing me to go through this struggle so I can learn more of the depth of His love and grace.

And I'm not going to give up, either. It feels like the enemy might be taking this opportunity to "sift" me, but I believe God will grow my character that much more strong when I'm through it.

God is also giving me peace with the fact that Jon and I may not be able to stay overnight on Friday for the homeschool conference, due to Ryan getting sick. I was starting to feel a bit bitter about the timing of Ryan's cold—right before Jon and I have the opportunity to go somewhere—together—alone—but I feel like God is trying to show me to find my hope in Him and His ability to give me peace & rest, especially in the midst of these taxing days with small boys—not in getting a break away. (Not that we shouldn't ever get a break, but you know how a person can just start putting their hope in vacations.)

Anyway... that's what's been on my mind this week! Oh, and about Confessions of an Irritable Mother—I just love that book! I have never felt so understood in my struggle, and I love how the author, Karen Hossink, doesn't simply list a bunch of antidotes to anger (i.e. "count to 10") but instead emphasizes the importance of an intimate relationship with the Lord, through reading the Bible and praying! Very encouraging!!

Sleep, Interrupted

2010-04-10T10:10:00.001-05:00

I've never been what you'd call a "sound sleeper." I'm actually kind of a light sleeper... but prior to having kids, I usually slept quite well.

These days, however, sleeping through the night is a rare thing for me. I am often awoken by any number of things. Here's the top four:

1. snoring (not mine)

2. crying in the middle of the night ("Where's my bear? I can't find my bear!")

3. nature calling (what's up with that? does that just happen after having babies? or after turning 40?)

4. crazy dreams...

...like last night... I had not one, but two dreams that caused me to sit up in bed and scold my 4-year-old son in my sleep.... until I realized it was just a dream. In the first dream he was goofing around, spraying potty all over the back of the toilet seat and on the floor. Ack! In the second dream he was standing, balancing on top of our 4' chain link fence! Both, in real life, are enough to make a mother's blood pressure rise a little.

Oh, the life of a mother... even in her sleep she is admonishing, beseeching, sighing...

Grin! :)

The antics & adventures of boys

2010-04-09T11:09:00.000-05:00

I love hearing people's stories about their boys! Since I have two sons, I find that the dynamics in our home are a lot different than, say, those who have all girls or a combination of boys and girls. Stories of the antics & adventures of boys make me grin and feel somewhat relieved... that my boys are normal, active BOYS!

There have been times, I admit, that I have asked God why He didn't give me sweet, quiet little girls... who like to just sit quietly and read books, color, or play with their baby dolls. My husband reminds me, "Sara, God must really think we're strong and capable enough to handle these two!" Don't get me wrong—I love my boys! They are fun and funny and adorable! They just keep me very busy. :) Can't leave them alone for too long...

I used to have this quote by Plato printed on our white board, sort of to serve as comic relief: "Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." My mantra has become: Civilize them, don't sissify them.

Just this morning, our Culligan man shared that his three sons used to jump off the roof onto their trampoline in the back yard! Yikes! Not that I'm desiring such rambunctious roughhousing from my sons... but it just helps me really see, and perhaps not be so shocked, that boys tend to be boyish and do boyish [daring, sometimes dangerous] things! Hooray for boys! :)

Throwing my "what a 'good mom' does" list out the window!

2010-04-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

One week after Jon and I were married, I had a crisis. A "good wife" crisis. We had gotten back from our honeymoon and were trying to get settled into our new condo. With little more than a few basic staples in the frig, I tried to scrape lunch together. As we sat on the patio and ate, I started to cry. When Jon asked me what was wrong, I told him that this wasn't the kind of meal a good wife makes. "Uhhh...well what kind of meals do 'good wives' make, Sara?" I sniffled and said, "Homemade soup with cheese on top!" Now who set that standard?!?

Well, that was almost 9 years ago, and I've long left behind that "what a good wife does" list, which had left me feeling guilt-ridden and inadequate at the time.

Now I'm just starting to get over my "what a good mom does" list—a.k.a. the "what a good Christian mom does" list—which includes such things as:

* you play on the floor with your kids all day, every day—and love it

* you implement formal training sessions to teach them such things as not to fuss when coming in the house after playing outside or to sit still through church

* you are utterly consistent with discipline [and if you're doing a good job, your kids never whine or argue]

* your children never misbehave in public [and probably never misbehave at home either, because your training has been so thorough]

* you enjoy your kids so much that you never need a break

* you instinctively know the best way to train or discipline in every situation that comes up with your kids

* you are excited and enthusiastic about Play Doh, finger painting, and glue & glitter crafts

* you never, ever get frustrated or lose your cool or raise your voice

* life is so hunky-dory you want to have 19 kids!

This mental list has tormented me and stolen my joy... left me with guilt and shame... until I could see nothing good in myself.

But yesterday during my QT, this is what the Lord spoke to my heart:

What are all these burdens you are carrying around, Sara? "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Who said you have to do that list of things in order to be a 'good mom'?

Then this morning, He further reminded me there is no "one right way" of training your kids! It doesn't matter what others are doing to train their kids. God is calling us to follow His lead. And...

GOD'S WAY is:
Commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. [Deuteronomy 6:6-7]

And GOD'S WAY is:
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. [Ephesians 6:4]

And I found some relief... because we are doing this with our kids! [Read: I realized I'm not utterly failing at motherhood!] And it tells me that if my son has a bad attitude, it's not all my fault, but that he lives in the same stinkin' flesh that I do!

So, thank you, Lord for giving me peace today. I have had a sweet morning with my boys!

The power of the Resurrection

2010-04-04T06:58:00.000-05:00

Everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard. The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. Christ died for us at a time when we were helpless and sinful. No one is really willing to die for an honest person, though someone might be willing to die for a truly good person. But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin!"

[Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, Romans 5:6-8, Romans 4:7-8]

Jesus willingly died on the cross to pay the penalty for your sins and mine. Three days later, God raised Jesus from the dead (which fulfilled the prophecies recorded in the Old Testament)! Happy Resurrection Day!

Submitting, not negotiating

2010-03-30T07:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I read a very convicting parenting quote. The author is talking about how God has given us, as parents, the responsibility of representing Him to our children—first as "a God of unlimited love" but "also the possessor of majestic authority." He goes on to say,

To show our little ones love without authority is as serious a distortion of God's nature as to reveal an iron-fisted authority without love.

From this perspective, then, a child who has only "negotiated" with his parents and teachers during times of conflict has probably not learned to submit to the authority of the Almighty. ... To repeat, a child learns to yield to the authority of God by first learning to submit to (rather than bargain with) the leadership of his parents. [The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson, p 56]

It just made me stop and think, When I give my son a directive, am I allowing him to negotiate for his terms rather than requiring him to simply obey what I've asked him to do? Kind of serious stuff when you think of the ramifications of getting into a habit of not submitting to one's authorities (especially to the Lord). But one thing it has done is empower me to lovingly enforce my directives, and it is [surprisingly?] improving his attitude about obeying me! God is good!

God's unending love

2010-03-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

God showed me something cool about Himself during my QT this morning. Maybe you'll go, "Uh, yeah... I already get that..." but for me it was profound.

I'm reading the One Year Bible, and the book of Deuteronomy begins today. Already, in just the first chapter, the Israelites have rebelled against God's commands at least twice, they've murmured and complained, and they haven't trusted God to lead them. While there are consequences for their sinful actions and attitudes, something else occurred to me...

God never stops loving them.

I've always had trouble with Zephaniah 3:17, which says, "The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." I have a hard time applying it to myself because I figure, 1) it wasn't written for me, but for the Israelites, and 2) I don't deserve that kind of treatment from God. But just look at those rebellious, complaining Israelites! Over and over again, they sin against God—but they are His people and He loves them, delights in them, rejoices over them! And there are many, many other examples in the Bible of God's grace and love toward His people, in spite of their unfaithfulness to Him. (Hosea 11 is another one that pops into my head.)

So what God showed me was this: whether or not Zephaniah 3:17 was written to me, it reveals the truth about God's character and how He responds toward those He loves! In spite of our many failings, His love for us is great—huge—unending! He doesn't give up on us! AND—get this—in Galatians 3:29 it says, "And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you." So, us "Gentiles" are part of God's family (not just the Jews/Israelites) and His promises are for us too!

So, all of that to say, it's starting to sink in that God loves me in spite of my many failings as a mom, wife, and Christ-follower! (I mean, I know it in my head, but it's starting to permeate my heart more and more...)

I'm so thankful for God's Word!

I just made homemade granola!!

2010-03-23T14:12:00.000-05:00

I just made homemade granola -- and it's delicious! Want the recipe? It's simple to make. My 4-year-old son even helped me. Here's how it's made...

Ingredients
4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats (not quick-cooking oats)
1 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup shredded coconut (preferably unsweetened)
*Even if you don't like coconut, still use it -- after baking, you can't even tell it's in there.
1/4 cup unsalted shelled sunflower seeds
1/2 cup pure maple syrup
2 Tbsp. canola oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup dried fruit (such as cherries, cranberries, raisins, or currants)

Directions
1. Heat oven to 350.
2. On a large, rimmed cookie sheet, toss the oats, almonds, coconut, and sunflower seeds with the maple syrup, oil, and salt.
3. Bake, tossing once half-way through, until golden and crisp, 25-30 minutes.
4. Add the dried fruit and toss to combine. Let cool.
5. Store granola in an airtight container in a cool, dry place for up to 3 weeks.

Found in the April 2010 issue of Real Simple. Recipe by Sara Quessenberry.

Kid questions = character growth

2010-03-20T16:08:00.000-05:00

I share this light-heartedly... worthy of a grin, at least! Here is a sampling of questions from my 4-year-old son, which I am certain God uses to bring about much character growth in me (as I vigilantly subdue my flesh's desire to groan, roll my eyes, grit my teeth, or snap "Because I said so!")... can anyone relate? :)

Me: "Honey, please go potty before you go outside."
Son: "Because why?"

Me: "Please be careful with your hammer so you don't hit the car with it."
Son: "Because what might happen?"

Me: "Sweetheart, please share with your brother."
Son: [whining] "But why?"

Ahhhhh... all in a day's work. But oh, how I do love my boys! :)