Last night at growth group, our study was about "over-desire" (idols). For me, I have the desire to connect with people... but my over-desire is doing email and blogs much longer than I should, at the expense of my family. I gave the example of me going to the computer, but sensing God telling me "No, not now"—but then basically ignoring His voice and sitting down at the computer anyway.
Well, God convicted me about that comment this morning during my quiet time (QT). James 4:17 says: "Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." Being on the computer is not a sin; ignoring God's prompting is. When a person starts ignoring God, they start to get desensitized to His voice. Perhaps that is contributing to why my QTs haven't been great lately.
I want to be a Spirit-filled and God-powered mom. But I can't just hold my lucky rabbit's foot and wish for it. I've got to physically turn away [walk away] from what is drawing me away from Him and turn TO Him. That takes self-control! Eek! I asked myself this morning during my QT, "Am I afraid to give my life—my time—100% over to the Lord? Do I think He'll work me to death, never give me a break, never let me use email, etc?" No—that's a lie! God is good, and He is just—He will provide for my needs, in His perfect timing! And in my heart of hearts, I know I'd rather be in His will than anywhere else—much more satisfying! (Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand anywhere else! ~Psalm 84:10)
So I repented this morning and I'm starting out on a new foot today. I'm purposing to seek Him for what I do with my time during the day—all of it. [Yes, even here, God directed me to wait to write this until my kids were in roomtime this morning!] How can I expect to be Spirit-filled if I don't repent of "doing my own thing" when I know He's calling me to do something else??
This quote from Steven and Teri Maxwell's book "Keeping Our Children's Hearts" (p. 55) really struck me—
"Are we constantly looking for the line of sin so we can live as close to the world as possible without sinning, or do we desire to draw as close to Jesus as we can?"
GULP! Convicted—right here!!
And here's a John Piper quote that our pastor mentioned in this weekend's message at church—
"The work of the Holy Spirit in changing us is not to work directly on our bad habits, but to make us admire Jesus so much that sinful habits feel foreign and distasteful."
I know a lot of moms [myself included] who so strongly desire to be led by God during our mothering days! Lord Jesus, help me/us to obey You, even when we don't feel like it! I pray your Holy Spirit would move in each of our hearts, causing us to admire Jesus so much that sinful habits would feel distasteful. Help us not to walk up to the line of sin, but to strive to walk right next to You. Amen!