I really blew it this morning.
My youngest son's school occasionally provides the opportunity to "buy" an out-of-uniform day by giving students the option of donating $5 toward the big 6th grade trip to Washington DC. So I set the informational form and a five-dollar bill on the kitchen counter.
In the mere minutes after that action, as my sweet little 2nd grader fumbled around trying to get his things ready for school, he suddenly discovered that the $5 was missing.
"Well I'm not giving you another $5," I snapped. "You'll have to figure it out yourself." And I walked away.
Seriously? What kind of mom does that?!
Wow. Where does that kind of stuff even come from? My mom wasn't like that. At. All. She was always so patient and gracious. (At least that's what I remember.)
I mean, I wasn't even feeling angry at him. And then it dawns on me: that's how I would speak to myself. You dummy. How could you lose $5? You better find it.
So God nudges me. Sara, that kind of self talk is a lie. You need to replace those antagonistic thoughts about yourself with the truth of what I think about you.
Negative self talk has plagued me much of my life. And it never really occurred to me until today that when I allow myself to mentally speak those destructive thoughts to myself, I am reinforcing a lie from the devil about who I am.
Here's the truth about what God says about me (and you):
I am an image bearer of God—made in His image!
God knit me together, and I am wonderfully made!
I am God's masterpiece! (Not a dummy!)
I am God's child!
I am loved!
[John 3:15, John 15:9, John 17:23]
I am forgiven!
[Romans 5:8, Hebrews 9:28, Hebrews 10:12]
God sees me as being without fault—because of Jesus!
[Colossians 1:22, Hebrews 10:17]
I am so thankful that not only am I forgiven for my unkind words to my son, but also that God doesn't think I'm a dummy, or worthless, or any other negative thing my mind can conjure up. I am God's child—lovingly and thoughtfully created by Him for His good purposes! (And the same goes for you!)
Incidentally, I asked my son to forgive me (he graciously did) and the I asked for a "do-over" (which he gladly performed with me). I'm thankful for that too. :)