This morning I wrote down on a notecard part of a prayer (from p. 152):
"How selfish I am, Lord. How often I think that...eliminating pain from my life is the means to happiness. ...I want to give everything I am to You, particularly as I languish in motherhood. ...Teach me to live for eternity."
This is exactly where I'm at—languishing in motherhood—and I often catch myself worshiping the god of Convenience or the god of Easy. I like easy! Who doesn't like easy?! But the truth is, I don't think God calls any of us to an "easy" life...
Well, halleluiah—I came across Mary DeMuth's blog today! She says in her 1/11/10 post: "Now that I have a [personal] trainer for a few more sessions, I see my tendency to embrace comfort over exertion. She pushes me way beyond where I'd push myself, and I'm finally seeing results. It's that way in the spiritual life. The Holy Spirit pushes us out of the nest of our comfortable spot..."
I completely relate to that—the desire for comfort more than exertion—and how the Spirit (like a personal trainer) pushes us beyond where we'd push ourselves. My life feels "uncomfortable" a lot of the time—in my role as a mom there is a significant amount of self-sacrifice!—and if you'd really like to know, I have a cold right now that I've been fighting for the last 6 days that my youngest son is just starting to come down with. But I desperately want to live God's way—to have joy in the daily grind (even if my kids or I have a cold)—to live with eternity in mind! (and not fritter away my time on selfish things)—to not resent the things that infringe on what I *think* is MY time... blah blah blah... you get the picture.
Lord, forgive me for my selfish actions! I want to live Your way. Please take me by the hand and show me how. Help me leave behind the things that threaten to draw my focus away from You. Help me live a radical life for You, joyfully!