Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Tending my flock/God cares about me

This has got to be one of the most challenging times of my life. I have been awake since about 3:30 this morning (Ryan kept waking up because his pacifier had fallen out of his mouth) and finally I just decided to get up at 5:00 to have a quiet time. I journaled my mothering woes to the Lord, pouring out my frustrations and concerns to Him—primarily related to Ryan’s poor sleeping habits at night—I am tired—both literally (I rarely get more than about 3 consecutive hours of sleep; more commonly interrupted every 1-2 hours) and figuratively (this has been going on for months; it is grueling, and I have grown tired of it)—and confessing my self-pity (i.e. "Boo hoo... Momma takes care of everybody else’s needs, but nobody cares about Momma’s needs").

So I was digging through my Bible to find the verse that says God cares about me—which is 1 Peter 5, verse 7...

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you."

But then I also stumbled upon this little nugget toward the beginning of chapter 5...

"Care for the flock of God entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God."

Isn’t that great? God has called me to be a wife and mom. Through verse 2 (above), I recognize that He has entrusted a little "flock" to me—Brandon and Ryan—and I am to tend my flock willingly (and joyfully, I might add) because I am eager to serve God. THEN, in verse 7, He also reminds me that He cares about what happens to me, and tells me to give my worries and cares to Him! Oh, thank you, Lord!

I so desire to live out my calling in a way that brings Him honor—and with joy, patience, and purpose. There is tremendous sacrifice in the roles of wife and mother, and not a lot of glory—Oh Lord, help me to live for YOU and YOUR purposes—willingly and joyfully—and not for the accolades of others!

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