This morning I was kind of yelling at my boys. I'm not proud of this. Let me explain the situation.
I get up early (like 5:45) to have time with God before everyone else gets up. However, my boys are early risers, and they have started waking up earlier for some reason! Sigh. So the rule is that they need to stay in their rooms until 7:00.
So while *I* was trying to have a QT and *they* were supposed to be in their rooms, they keep coming out... Brandon (our 5-year-old) has many "important" things to tell me, like, "Mom, I got my socks on" and "Mom, I finished those almonds" ...while Ryan (our 3-year-old) just keeps coming out and running down the hall. And my QT is getting interrupted.... repeatedly. So I was frustrated. Not freaking out, but irritated and speaking in a less-than-kind voice with them. (Actually, I did yell once, "Get back in your room, Ryan!" when I heard his door open... trying to manage them without coming out of my room. Not real effective.)
After I got them settled back in their rooms AGAIN, I sat down and thought, "Oh Lord, You really are bringing this muck—these impurities I wasn't even aware of before having kids—to the surface in me so you can refine me, aren't You?" And instead of feeling like a loser, I felt God's grace and love, knowing His plan is for me to be more like Christ.
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3 comments:
Ah, Sara, I think every Christian mother can identify with your QT situation. I am going to be speaking for a group of moms about this very thing on March 7. It can be so hard to have significant QT when there are children around. *sigh*
I'm thinking of starting a campaign to get rid of the term QUIET TIME. Cuz it's so unrealistic with little ones. I've learned (and you experienced!) that God can speak through the noise, and I can have fellowship with Him all day long. It's a beautiful thing.
Love you!
Sara, I can SO relate to this post today. It was my first day home with just me & the 3 kids, and there were a couple of instances where my tone of voice/words were NOT what they should have been. I love how you said that parenthood brings that muck to the surface...it's so true! I never would have seen myself as someone tempted to use that tone of voice until I was tested this was as a parent. Thank the Lord for grace (and for gracious kids!). :)
I relate so much as well. I was just feeling this way the other morning. My prayer is that every time I'm faced with those same moments that I remember God's grace and love instead of frustration and anger!
I read this the other day and it resonated with my soul, my heart, and my entire day!
"...my quiet time with the Lord? Does crying out to Him for strength and patience while I'm nursing our little ones count? Does reading the Bible story for school time qualify? What about locking myself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and praying that God understands I'm trying to be with Him, but this life keeps getting in the way?" (KotH-Meg)
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